its no longer about crossing the lines. cos right now the thick bold lines box me in and every move i make just sets of the alarm. its my very existence thats the trouble so just erase me from the earth and from your memory. sit me on the chair and send the bullet up my head...calculate the angle correctly k? and yupp dont forget to place the canvas behind so that you'd be able to sell the piece of art. hopefully it turns out good...i would have loved to see it...
and from the heavens i'll watch over you and keep you safe.

my days in school are getting shorter...but why arent i in the least pleased?

outside the sky was pouring its heart down on the earth in huge intense drops. inside, beneath the orange glow of the lights overhead we were pouring our hearts out to each other, oblivious to the rain. blast of cold air blew from the air con but i was feeling all warm and fuzzy inside...the laughter, chatter and smiles on everyones faces...a moment etched in my mind.

the clock is ticking away..time is running out..i wish i could will time to stop.

the waves crashed against the rocks...the blue sky with her swirls of white..to the right, the concrete majestic buildings. we just sat there..talking...catching up..bitching...the wind blowing in our faces...i felt comfortable..glad...thanks jules for a wonderful afternoon. seeing you today really made my day. gosh i've missed you terribly. hopefully i will not have to wait eternity before seeing you once again...take loads of care..love ya dear.

met up with xavier after that and as expected, had a super crazily fun time just listening to them and being around...my friends are hilarious..i swear...saw spongebob boxers and remembered someone....

the rose sits on my table in a pretty little vase...thank you so much for the gift...take care of yourself and dont fight anymore okay and dont so angry...stress not good..gives wrinkles...smile more yar?? see you soon!

introducing....HaNDpHOne SLide!

required materials:
*a chair the plastic metal type we use in class is fine
*2 or more handphones (depending on the number of people playing) prefably a 6100 or the likes of it
*a book

playing the game:
place the book on the floor some distance from the chair. (the trick here is to estimate the distance correctly) simply place your phone at the top of the chair...and release! watch your phone fly and flip and (hopefully) land on the book! you can do it again and again and again! try it!

for more advanced players you can try replacing the book with anything you deem fit! a great example would be SHOES! aim for that little hole! its great fun!

Your IQ score is 136

This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others.

Your Intellectual Type is Visual Mathematician. This means you are gifted at spotting patterns — both in pictures and in numbers. These talents combined with your overall high intelligence make you good at understanding the big picture, which is why people trust your instincts and turn to you for direction — especially in the workplace.

so does this mean that i am very intelligent?

a moment that will last for a lifetime
holding on to that last strend of hope...because all too soon, it'll be over
how am i suppose to live without you?
sera wrote her first div essay today! *round of applause* arent you so proud oh her??
*beeg grin* okay i'm being lame. but hey its like a huge achievement okay...
darn my knees hurthing again cos of 2.4...freaking swollen...bloody painful..
it just came home and is making a hell of a lot of noise..
fucking irritating...bloody pissed off...
hell..
fuck off

button won!!wee~
mummy didnt go to work today
happy
missed having her around so much
yes i complain about her nagging hell of a lot and we fight like cats and she gets on my nerves awfully
but i do love her so darn much
standing in front of the spectacle shop like little kids
trying on various pairs of glasses as daddy stood laughing and shaking his head
i'm planning their anniversary party!!
haha..
its times like these when i feel so lucky to have a family like that
*big hugs and kisses to everyone*
xav dropped by and we watched erm...some show
cant remember what...
something to do with a house....
*laughs*
he was like so super duper polite to my mum and she was so shocked
whahaha
it was so funny, he went up to her, introduced himself and shoke her hand
yes dear, very gentlemanly and respectful of you..shant tease...was really nice seeing you
feeling like a big bum..
didnt manage to get any work done...
sigH~
another lazy sunday

the evening left a bittersweet taste in my mouth.
felt that same familiar sense of longing watching them on stage...the music, the lights, costimes, the radiant smiles on their faces...each move carefully executed...how much i wanted to be a part of them...no i dont regret...but i just wish...that i could be there dancing too...giving up myself to the music and dedicating everything to the precision, grace and poise. i miss it..so much..
on a lighter note, shiwei was my date for the night. *smiles* nice seeing you again my dear..still looking great. *laughs* but really, thanks for going with me. take care loads and i had to be contended with sitting with an entire bunch of bimbos (sorry my dears but that is just so so true) but honestly, the highlight of the night and definitely meeting claire, kristel, bernie, emilia, clara, gen my darlingest primary school friends with whom i finally had dinner with after having not seen for eternity.. *jumps up and down in glee* miss all of you so so much! cant feeling nostalgic thinking about all the fun we had in the past...sigh...indeed those were the days...

no doubt about it...the morning was bitter. so bitter it burns a hole in your heart.
we lost to RJ
39-40
can you feel the pain?
tears fell like the rain
but nohing could wash away the bitter anguish and dull ache
victory was so close we could almost taste it
but she turned her back on us and danced away
laughing.
but girls you worked hard, played hard and fought hard. we have each other and we're gonna be strong. we've come so far and really, we deserve to be proud of ourselves...tomorrow is a brand new day..we can pick ourselves up and look the world in the eye...we're winners in our own right..

ade.ade.beth.char.em.huisian.peggan.pheobe.sadaff.siting.steph.yanfang.yingshi.xiaohui.
love each and every single one of you

i'm dying
dying to wake up without you
without you in my head again
i'm dying
dying to forget about you
that you ever lived
theres a shade come over this heart thats coping with lying down to rest
i'm dying to live without you again
i'm dying
dying to find a distraction
get you away from me
i'm dying
dying to reach a conclusion so that the world can see
its the same old story
if love and glory that broke before it bent
i'm dying to live without you again


my entire nightmare has started all over again. no matter how fast i run or how far behind i leave it, it always seems to catch up...to haunt me once more. tearing open a wound that never fully healed. the pain is searing through every inch of me and i'm biting down on my lips to keep the tears from falling. i am not going to succum to you, your selfishness and all your ridiculous accusations this time. holding my head up, back straight and walk forward...if you think i am going to give up my dreams and my life because of either one of you, you're both so so wrong.

disappointed. dejected. disillusioned. depressed. demoralised.
angry
i'm cutting the last remaining thread
utterly disappointed.

finally got my computer back!
i am like so so glad and so relieved
i've missed my darling dearest computer so much
finally realised how important it is in my life
really gonna treaure you!

i am like really cheesed off now...(yes i have sworn off cheese) and i am so angry that i think i am about breathing fire...i was 3/4 way through my very long post...at least one foot i think..before my entire screen flickered, went as black as as my face and the enitre computer just restarted, throwing my post into oblivion with it. definitely not in the mood to repeat everything that i wanted to say - i never did like being a parrot, well at least not for now. maybe after i simmer down and return to room temperture, i might set my brain working my giving the matter some thought.

darling girl be strong...you know i care...pandora's box will not be opened...love you

the mask is getting thicker by the day, the silences longer...the smile that everyone loves to love has lost its lustre...lost the glow in my eyes. but then again, i'm so so lucky..and i am not about to disappoint the people who have placed their hopes on me, who have never given up on me. there's still a steep climb to the top but i will make it. please pray for me not to fall...

I wanna hear you laugh again
Without the ache to bring you down
No we'll never be the same
If only I could take your pain
But if it's true what people say
There still is beauty in each day
We'll find comfort in her strength
One day soon we'll meet again

how can you forget something that has already happened??

That one last shot's a permanent vacation
And how high can you fly with broken wings?
Life's a journey, not a destination
And I just can't tell just what tomorrow brings

--aerosmith

sera sprained her ankle while playing basketball today? aint you so immensely proud of her??? *nods head vigerously in agreement* sera is like the biggest big big klutz ever...yupp...*beams..beeg huge grin* she's like super silly and super clumsy...and everyone's so used to her falling and hurting herself that they dont really care anymore. that makes sera sad. sera had to get up from the floor herself and hobble up to class carrying her own very heavy bag and books. hrmph...sigh but then again, sera is not useless so its okay. sera can take care of herself...dont need to rely on someone to do that...unlike what everybody might think. sera admits to being a little pampered and spoilt but she can survive on her own. *purses lips together. a firm nod of the head*

my butt cheek is so sore!! it hurts when i walk when i run and jump and even when i sit!! my dear dodohead you are so dead!! ouch ouch ouch...*sobs*

watching "an eye for a guy" i am so amazed at their bitching and people complain about girls and how they just cannot keep their mouths shut...guys bitch like hell too okay..like so darn much...and they are way way more vicious in the way they diss and put people down...all without batting an eyelid. the world is going through and evolution...maybe its time for the men to put on the skirts...

the dayshave just spilled into one another and in silence, a month has passed. at times, it seems an unbelievably short time yet on another occasion, its like time has been crawling by without you. has life been better or worse? i dont have the faintest idea. but life definitely does move on.
//weep not for the memories...
Am i totally over it? i cant say for sure but i'm definitely not curled up in a corner sobbing uncontrollably watching life pass me by. but yet i cant deny that there are sometimes when i just wish that you were still by my side.

watched the passion of the christ today almost couldnt get it..had to lie through my teeth until she finally relented...afterthought?? just amazed at the extent of human cruelty..marvelling at the ingenious of human minds at the ways at which they come up with to tourture and inflict pain..and the enormity of his sacrifice...such great love he had for us...

heard "reality" on the radio in some shop that i was in. and unknowingly, the song was playing over and over again in my head. it was as though someone had put the song on repeat mode and got the button jammed...and the song ran its course, just as my memories were unrolled like a long red carpet infront of me...a time when those words held meaning for me...its little things like that that somehow just turn the lock and everything just flows straight out. but i guess sometimes, its nice to let all the butterflies out and watch them flutter infront of your face once again and smile at their beautiful colours before onces again its time to catch them and keep them enclosed it their cage..till the next time some one accidently opens the lock...but each time, the lock gets bigger and more secure till soon, it might just be impossible to break.

that scene will remain forever etched in my mind. through the glass doors, a blast of cool air greeted me and it was although i had stepped into another realm. the faint orange glow from the lights made the whole room seem as though it was smiply lit by candles atop tall rods...the black tiled floor beneath my feet was smooth and unblemished. if i looked hard enough, i think i could vaguely make out the outline of my shadow. in the background, the choir was singing...he hung suspended, arms outstretched in the middle of the room. looking down on each and everyone of us, encompassing everyone with his gaze and his love just as everyone gazed back up with him with looks of admiration, awe, guilt...love.

roamed the streets of town with my dear girlfrends again today. it really is getting increasingly difficult for the three of us to actually get a day out together with our hiediously disgusting timetables..so i guess you could say that today did mean alot. there was so much to say, yet nothing...cos words no longer did mean much. we already knew without having to say...met bing chen the look on his face when he saw me with my glasses and all was indeed a kodak moment...*laughs* it was hilarious! but seriously, i did look atrocious. like a real darn nerd that no one would even bother to take a first glance at let alone the second. to just blend into the crowds and slip away unnoticed...i think i could get used to this.

they've become so intertwined together that its scarcely able to distinguish between the two....however, the images are taking a longer time to reappear...the scene longer to come to mind. lost between whats actually real and what are just fractions of my immagination. i'm really afraid that one day i will just forget...sometimes, its nice to remember. happy thoughts bring a smile to my lips.

we're in to the second round!! doubled the score again, 26-52...so proud of each and everyone of you...love you guys

it seemed as though it was a dream. i was physically there yet detached from the scene. somehow, everything just seemed so surreal. the words, sounds and voices just seemed to wash over me as i looked wide-eyed at everything around. i felt an immense pressure on my head...as though i was being sucked really hard into this deep bottomless pit..it was so so heavy, so tight..i just couldnt seem to get out...couldnt seem to move. just sat rooted to my seat, willing the pain to go away...

//i'm so tired, just so so tired\\
a slight drizzle was falling and the wind blew gently as the few clouds scurried across the sky...i just couldnt help but remember...couldnt help but to wish...to wish that everything would just come to an end and i would wake up only to realise that this was one horrible horrible nightmare.

theres only so much i can take
and i just got to let it go
and who knows i might feel better
if i dont try and i dont hope

just got back from studying with yewteng...feeling a little unaccomplished...just realised i'm really screwed with regards to like school work and stuff. its seriously time to put my nose to the grindstone and get my ass down to some serious studying...its been a really long time since i last studied at cartel. still remember those blissful sec 3 days of not so long ago where my afternoons were almost always spent atop the red cushions, my head burried in my books...but more often than not talking and laughing my head off with my darlings abby and lijie, munching on bread with butter and cheese~ and waffles..the infamous 10 scoop ice-cream the list just goes on...and of cos there were the occasional visits from friends that were much looked forward to. those were the days...
its really funny dont you think how you link certain images and sounds with particular people? like how doing a particular action or saying something just reminds you of a particular person or incident? the human brain is a facinating thing...then why do we say that we love from our hearts??

i feel the cold steel against my flesh. run my fingers down the thin blade drawing deep crimson blood - the colour of my fury. i have ceased to feel the physical pain having been so overcomed my the deep ache of the gapping wound inside of me. i watch the trail of red gentle trickle down the shiny metal and smile...

i detest sundays. somehow or other they always overwhelm me with this intense sense of nostalgia and helplessness. causing me to feel lifeless and disinterested in everything and everyone around me. i hate that feeling...have i ever mentioned that??

broken dreams, unfufiled dreams? which would you rather have? this thought has been on my mind alot recently. it was a question posed to me sometime back by a friend that invited much heated debate. broken dreams would bring disappointment and unhappiness. but then again, at least you did try...however, would it have then been better having never tried but yet holding on to the hope that someday that dream would come true? i cant help but wonder.

spent a cozy day in the dimly lit room...scrawling away at econs and maths homework tucked comfortably under the deep blue comforter a mogu in hand...in the company of a dear friend. reminising about the past, lamenting about the present, contemplating the future...its strange how like just a moment before you never knew someone existed but the next minute you're talking like you've known each other forever...thats the beauty about friendship...however sometimes, overnight, people become total strangers - thats what really hurts.

first match of the nationals. 62-31 to SA...wee~ keep up the good work girls take care of yourselves k??

i bought my shoes!
*screams and dances around*
after walking for like eternitys and eternitys around queensway and asking countless shop keepers and finally begging for the display pair and getting the poor guy scolded when he asked his boss for a discount and having him very nicely polish my shoes and clean them i have finally finally got my shoes. wee~