went back to school today
am glad.
chij st nicholas girls school
the one place i am proud to be a student of
always and forever will be a SN girl at heart.
felt wonderful to be back
among the high celings and open corridors
the screeches yells and laughter
of little girls running around in blue pinafores
deviod of the male speices.
*beams*
felt at ease and at home
the absence of the thousand pairs or eyes watching me
waiting impatiently for me to make a mistake
to be able to bare their teeth manacingly at me
to pounch on me
and sink their sharp claws deep into my tender flesh
it was replaced instead
my friendship care and concern
something that the humble rundown building i spend my days in is so desperately lacking.

caught bourne supremacy after with abby, lijie and vivien
met emileensweetie and went shopping for a bit.
dear girl looked so pretty *smiles
seems like unexpectedly, we actually fulfiled our shopping date eventually!
well just got back from basic theory test
sucky
lousy
bleahh

bing chen just left a little while ago so now its just back to me and the emptiness of my house. 240 on a monday afternoon and i am alone at home. sounds good. except for that one little fact that i am supposed to be studying for a balsted history paper 2 which i unfortunately know close to nothing about.

stupid

\Stu"pid\, a. [L. stupidus, fr. stupere to be stupefied: cf. F. stupide.] 1. Very dull; insensible; senseless; wanting in understanding; heavy; sluggish; in a state of stupor; -- said of persons.


what an apt discription of oneself dont you think?
well..stupidness does not absolve one from studying so its back to those dreaded sheets of paper.
generous round of applause of a great show of hardworking-ness please.
*rolls eyes*

wrote this during div paper 2 albiet immense boredem due to the inability to answer any more of the questions and failing miserably to get to sleep

waiting
the feet of time plod labouriously along
each step painstakingly slow moving
the black hands of the clock appear frozen at half past ten.
the room is noisily silent
you can hear the breeze from the air conditioner
the furious scrawling of pens
the rustle of the turning of a page
screech
a chair being dragged
someone shifting around.
let my bloodshot eyes scan the room
white blouses hunched over
brows knit together in deep concentration.
catch my gaze and smile in return
at polar opposites of the room
they are both fast asleep
their steady breathing in tune with the humming of the aircon
there.
i believe a minutue has just about passed.

"just stay away from me.
just fucking stay away from me."
for your imformation my dear girl...i wouldnt even want to go within a 1km radius of you. and who's the one who cant seem to keep away? now...now, i couldnt even begin the fathom the answer to that question.

day one of my preliminary exams and it passed rather uneventually
except for the usual mental blocks while staring at the paper 1 questions (which i am by the way so going to fail) and reading the lovely hands of the clock wrongly, i survived gp and am thankful that its over.

a particular someone made me really irritated and angry today
i think you could see smoke coming out of my ears
banged down on the table so hard startled everyone there.
saw somebody as i was walking out of school
and at the bus stop
and on the bus.
*beams*
i think he like knew i was looking.
oops?
*blushes*
and then after dying over econs,
went with pretty boy to buy pullover
and finally got down to talking properly!
*laughs*

well breaktimes over.
really afraid for tomorrow
pray for me everyone.

You were all the things I thought I knew
and I thought we could be...

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, suppose to be, but we lost it
and all of the memories, so close to me just fade away

the consequence of my actions
thats something i have to live with everyday
the pain
searing through every inch of my mangled corspe
those cutting words
slice every shred of my being
like a bell chiming inside my head
an intruder in the closet of my mind.

anyway..really in a lot of pain now
fuck
being a girl sucks.

MY EYE CANDY (stelli) 


paul hamm the current object of my adoration and admiration. :)

her minds a whirl, her cheeks flushed and the beging of teardrops form in her eyes. smiles at the recollection of a fond memory
know that no matter what happens i'm always here. just to listen...or if only just to walk next to you or sit next to you.

diving is just impressive and lovely to watch.
each move executed with such immense precision and grace.
my heart goes out to the pair of chinese males...
so close to victory but yet it just slippled from their grasp.
3m springboard.
it was over even before he hit the water's surface.
the loud splash and ripples only sealed their unfortunate fate.

"she makes me happy"
and you make me cry.
bastard
i hate you.
for the first time, i actually do mean that

the rains gently falling outside
little drops of water against the window pane.
the clouds menacing and grey.
dark and gloomy
contrast
indoors the lights shine brilliantly
warm and cosy albiet the cool breeze from the fans overhead
sink into the cushions on the sofa
welcoming and inviting
lulling me to sleep.
strain to keep my eyes open
focused on the tiny black words across the page.
nicholas tarling
what an idiot.
i have but one more week
death sentance hanging above my head.

life is so much simpler with just short sweet phone calls.
i can think of you and smile.

a butterfly trapped in a jar.
frantically fluttering my wings
in vain.
see through the clear glass-
green pastures
bright red flowers
within my vision
beyond my reach.
cramped in an enclosed space
in circles
in lines
compressed and suffocated.
halt my wings
sink slowly to the bottom in defeat.
just before i close my eyes,
i see your face

When you ask God for a gift,
Be thankful if he sends,
Not diamonds, pearls or riches,
but the love of real true friends.


Real friendship is a rare and precious gift, strong,
stable, yet fragile, and never to be taken for granted



Sometimes our light goes out
but is blown into flames by
another human being.
Each of us owes deepest thanks
to those who have rekindled this light.



Treat your friends as you do your pictures,
and place them in their best light."



In the End, we will remember not the words
of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."

do you see that wall?
walk towards it and fucking bang your head against it.
do you see the ocean?
walk into it and may you fucking drown.
see that hole?
may you fall into it and break your fucking leg.
and that ledge?
climb over and fucking jump.
fuck you bitch
no one deserves to be treated this way
not ever.
just bloody hell leave me alone
i have better things to do than be part of your pathetic life.

jules and xav were over today. the pair of them added together with daddy in a crazy mood as well as the NDP on tv and you end up with one hell of a riot. came an inch from rolling all over the floor in uncontrollable laughter and between them, i they could have brought the house down, but they definately succeeded in bringing the rice down...all over the floor.

never thought much of politics,
but as his face flashed repeatedly across the screen
and his voice, that familiar accent and intonation
that tall stately majestic figure
i could not help but be overcomed with this overwhelming sense of sadness and loss
he will no dout be dearly missed in the hearts of the people.

she is led by love...love moves the world and it kneels in awe...

watched the village the other day.
spoiler
fear, sorrow, sympathy, amazement and disbelief.
fear of the unknown
sorrow at the loss of innoence and beloved
sympathy for the bereft
amazement at such an idea
disbelief that it could actually work out.
but then, is running away really the only solution to facing the reality of the hurt. keep the secrects locked inside a box, the shadow of your past is still cast against the wall..no matter how far or how fast you run, sorrow and hurt will still catch up with you - simply in a different way, taking on a different form.
is it fair then to decide the fate of your children? is the life you have chosen necessarily the life that they would want to follow...what happens then when they realise that everything they have believed and trusted in is nothing but a labyrinth of lies?

anyone knows if its possible to block calls and like messages from specific numbers from your phone? let me know yarhh?

my thoughts are getting increasingly morbid...i have also taken to thinking in my head instead of actually speaking...starting to get lost in my mullings and deep sea of immaginations and i cant seem to get out. its like prancing around in this huge endless maze, struggling to find my way out.

i detest that bitch

wrong, but it felt so right.
if only the ride never had to end.

fast cars, luxurious homes, designer labels.
beautiful boddies, dazzling smiles, captivating eyes.
nothing but a drop of water in the vast ocean
when compared to
friendship, care and love.

Watching as you softly sleep
What I'd give if I could keep
Just this moment if all of time stood still
But the colors fade away
And the years will make us gray
But baby in my eyes you'll still be beautiful

it hangs from the top most branch, glistening in the brilliance of the sun. deep, rich, vibrant red, smooth surface, gentle contours - flawless. glarring out from among the hues of green, failing pathetically in shielding what was meant to be secret. but i've already caught sight of it and now my heart yearns for it. what i can never attain what i can never reach. no matter how hard or how high i jump, my fingers barely skim the tips of the first leaves. wrap my way round the thick trunk and painstakingly inch my way up but i simply end up sliding back down. falling on the ground with a loud thud. repeatedly. bruised, tired and beaten, lying on my back and looking up at that forbidden fruit, the one my lips long to taste. my hands to hold.