and right now she's just going on and on about which is not making feel even remotely better
fucking upset
each snip of the scissors
a knife through my heart
each lock of hair to the floor
a piece of me falling apart.
thanks to that pair of strong arms that held me up
the embrace that brought the colour back to my skin
the warmth that eased the chill
wouldnt have known what to do without you
usted es todo que necesito
right now i need a job
badly
very desperately
anyone has any connections??
in the blink of an eye erasing all the warmth that there was.
the fire's gone out
crystals start to form on the window panes.
the lights go out and all thats left is cold darkness
and the wailing of the wind
like vicious venomous snakes
hissing and spitting
fire raging
vicious flames
uncontrollable rage
spreading at a startling pace.
i hate the way people gossip
the way they spread malicious lies without a second thought
squinting my eyes in the bright glare of the sun.
the weight has been lifted from my back
free of the burdens and chains that have mercilessly held me down.
i can make out faint shadows and smiling faces
their arms outstretched in welcome
to wipe away the dirt from my tear stainned face
and draw me into a warm embrace.
for the final time this morning i put on that white shirt, blue skirt and painstakingly tied my tie...
relieved that it was finally coming to a close.
glad that is over.
but yet you still stare at me with that cold unblinking eyes
devoid of warmth
that empty gaze that seems to see right through me
the most ive got is a curt nod in response to my greeting
but half the time is as though i'm not there
or else it is made a point that i feel htat i dont exist
that i dont belong.
nothing but an intruder in your private enclave.
i hate the draft overcomes me
the one that chills me to the bone
and drains out all the happiness there is.
monday: econs paper2, econs paper2, history paper2
tuesday: divinity paper2
wednesday divinity paper3
5 papers...
4 totally unrelated papers
3 subjects
2 which i totally havent started
1 me
0 brain.
and can you believe that at this critical juncture i still havent made up my mind over whether or not to go for div?
i know
WTH right
sighs.
i am so F***ed
like it is even possible to finish studying everything.
hmmm...
wonder which road sweeping company would be willing to hire me
i promise i'll learn to hold the broomstick properly!
and i am devestated
despite his heart-wrenching, throat-strangling redition of music of the night
which i swore scared even the phantom and killed everyone at the opera
and the kiss from a rose full of thorns that did not excite my senses, but drove me instead to cover my ears in agony...
sylvester with his auntie and ah lian killing "smile" actually made it to the finals...
and olinda's out.
what a misjudgement of talent.
bathing it in a warm, soft orange glow,
casting fleeting shadows on the wall.
someone has rekindled the flame
but yet though it is weak
a somewhat faint glow flickering in the absence of wind.
how long would it last?
i do not know.
puedo rogar solamente
12 hrs to go.
the death knell begins to sound.
time to meet my fate.
this pain is just too real
theres just too much that time cannot erase
i feel its tealons gripping my hand.
its sharp claws inching into my soft flesh
drawing flesh warm blood that trickle steadily down to the ground.
another.
its teeth sinking into me.
ferociously tearing out chunks of meat.
i lie unmoving
on the brink of oblivion.
defenceless against the brutal torment.
soon i will be nothing but a mangled corspe and abandoned carcass.
to return to the dust from which i came.
si solamente usted sepa
i have decided that it is time to make my funeral arrangements.
or at least, to lay down the specifics of what i would like.
flowers- a must.
deep purple roses, light purple roses, a few pinks and some whites too would be nice and bright pink gebaras and sunflowers (the big big ones)
one solidary black rose.
my black rose
a simple altar with pink and purple candles in silver candle holders.
and tealights - that spell my name. *laughs*
holy water, crucifix, rosary...the works.
no photograph of me please..thank you.
i find that awfully dreadful.
all my photos are that is.
and a closed wooden coffin
no peeking.
it irkes me.
i dont like looking so people shouldnt look too.
my teddy bears
my smelly pooh, rusty, sugar.
i want them all with me.
mass at SVDP
dont sing amazing grace
but i like the old rugged cross though
and as the deer
and praise her with a flower.
yuppers.
i think that should be about it.
not very sure of what a funeral entails.
oh do come nicely dressed.
i like pretty clothes.
*beams*
five for fighting is blarring out from the speakers but it is still impossible to block out the incessent drilling that has got be in an ambush.
the loud jarring noise of shattering concrete
the deep rumble of the drill as it advances through the walls
i think i can even feel my chair wobbling.
splitting headache.
seems like the construction workers decided to pay a visit inside my head too.
to embark on some unauthorized project.
i guess that i could do with a brain overhaul and software upgrade.
this head of mine is pretty empty.
and with my papers impending,
it would do me some good to have the spaces filled.
"...its hurting so deep
i've got my pride i will not cry
but its making me weak..."
it bugs me
it gets to me
i cannot lie.
ignorance is bliss
it provides a welcomed released.
for now i am happy living in a fantasy.
it offers hope and strength.
smiles to myself
a succulent treat to this pair of eyes of mine.
delicious.
and i am craving for more.
time now is too precious to waste.
and you are too valuable to loose.
watched sharktale today...
felt kinda guilty considering that its in the middle of the exams
but it was worth each and every single minute of guilt.
the sparkling and shimmering colours of the fishes
the comic and entertaining dialogue that left me in stiches
it was just such a delight.
GP sucked though
majorly.